May 30- The Art of Overachieving...x 2

Yesterday we had our first ultrasound! We were SO nervous!! It was the first time we would be able to SEE the baby... or, well, "blueberry" according to the What To Expect website. Hell, there could be a whole fruit salad in there and I'd be cool with it as long as it was healthy! 

So we got to the Dr.'s office and anxiously awaited our fate. It was fun taking the Hubs into the patient room with the table and stirrups. That was his first glimpse of what it's like being at a gyno appointment! We saw the stick part of the ultrasound machine, the part that goes inside, and I asked him if it was gonna be weird for him being in a room where another man sticks something up his wife's hoo-ha. He laughed and said maybe a little. Too funny!

When the Dr. came in he was all smiles as usual and was super friendly as always. It was the first time the Hubs got to meet him. The Dr. was being all jokey with us saying, "so you're not all that interested in seeing the ultrasound, right?" Of course knowing full well we were on pins and needles. He got right to it- flipped on the screen, stuck the wand part in me and said, "good luck!" Within a matter of seconds Dr. T. says, "You've got to be kidding me!" ????Huh???? He says again, " You've got to be kidding me! Unbelievable." The Hubs and I were both like, "What?!?," wondering what on earth was going on. Then he said the craziest thing I've ever heard. "Twins." What???? I laughed and said, "You're messing with me, right?" He said, "I'm not messing with you. It's twins." And with that he showed us the two little sacs on the screen. I looked back at my husband with what I can only imagine was a look of shock, excitement, and sheer terror, all at the same time. I felt like saying, but I didn't order two! LOL. The Dr. said he may want to write a medical journal article about me. That this is unreal. The fact that I went from having POST menopausal hormone levels, was told by four doctors that donor egg was most likely going to be my only option... I then spontaneously ovulated and got pregnant before I could even have a period... and then to find out it's twins! He is absolutely floored! I think it would be fantastic to be in a medical journal. I'd love to be a part of anything that could offer even more hope and inspiration to others with my condition!

So the babies are apparently fraternal twins. Which means not only happened to spontaneously ovulate... I did it TWICE. Two eggs and two different sperm. I mean, I wanted to prove the doctors wrong and all but this is a bit much! LOL. I am completely shocked beyond belief! I never even dreamed this would be a possibility! 

Needless to say we haven't been able to keep being pregnant a secret any longer. We had only told close family and friends (and of course all of you in the infertility world) but that was it. As of last night we did everything but put out a public broadcast announcement! We FB'd it and spilled the beans to everyone. We HAD to. One was hard enough keeping a secret, but TWO?? No way!

So... the next ultrasound is in two weeks. Since it was still so early we didn't get to hear the heartbeats but we were able to see the flutters! So next time we should be able to hear them. THEM. omg.... I am in total shock. Elated as all get out, but scared as hell! Where are they going to fit in me??? That's a whole lot of baby and not a lot of real estate! I won't lie, I am a bit terrified of carrying and delivering them... Sure people have done it many times before, but that doesn't make me feel any better! Yikes! 

Well this sure explains why I've been so damn hungry! LOL! This is certainly going to be one crazy journey. I'll definitely keep you updated.

In the meantime... NEVER LOSE HOPE!!!! Look at what can happen with a little positive thinking and perseverance! Keep hanging on to hope and pushing forward and your dreams can come true, too! <3 

May 13- Spilling the Beans

Tonight I got to tell my parents. It couldn't have played out more perfectly. My mom has been away on her "trip of a lifetime" to Europe with my aunt for two weeks, so I haven't been able to talk to her much. Last thing she knew we were having to make a quick decision on going for IVF (to which she said "go for it"). Up until now we were told by four different clinics we could never have babies, nor do any kind of treatment, so when I found out I recently spontaneously ovulated this latest Dr suggested we jump on it as it could be our only window of opportunity- and even then no guarantees. So this is crazy hard keeping this big of a secret from my mom, even though it's only been a few days! Her and I are more like sisters than mother/daughter and I'm an only child, so you do the math! But this would be one secret that was worth the wait! 

So her trip home was today and she was supposed to have a 4 hour layover in Miami, which is about 3.5 hours from where her home airport is. My dad was originally going to pick her up at the Orlando airport, but for some reason out of the blue he decided he was going to pick her up in Miami and drive her home so she wouldn't have a 4 hour layover. Which was really rather odd because my parents aren't together! They've been split up for 20 years but live 2 miles from each other and have only in recent years become somewhat friends. So him offering to drive all the way down to pick her up even though she already had a connecting flight home was surprising. But it actually couldn't have worked out more perfectly. That very same day I had to drive down to Ft. Lauderdale to stay over night for a company-wide Assistant Principal meeting the next day. And even better, the time she was getting in to Miami made it so they would be passing through Ft. Laudie right when I'd be checking into the hotel. Craziness, right?! And what better time to drop the baby bomb on the 'rents then when they'd both be together!

For some reason I was so nervous about telling them. But a good nervous. I mean, it couldn't have been timed more perfectly. Right after my mom's long trip, the weekend we were having to decide if we were going to give IVF a shot... on MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND... It's almost unbelievable! Anyway, so I bought a Mother's Day card that said "Grandma" on it. I also took a pic of one of my positive preg tests and had it developed to stick in the card.

The premise was that G and I had a few gifts for Ma for Mother's Day that we wanted to give her when we both see her the following weekend, but we had one gift we wanted to give her now. When my parents showed up at the hotel, I was nearly shaking with anticipation. There was no way I could drag it out so one of the first things I did was give my mom her "gift." Since G couldn't be there, I tried videoing it with my phone. It's not the best quality, but it is definitely worth it's weight in gold. Check out their priceless reaction...

 
Spilling the Beans- My Parents Reaction 
Funny, I didn't cry when it happened, but I sure do every time I watch it! 

May 11- One In Ten Million

Well... The Dr. confirmed it. I'm pregnant!!!

I can't believe it! I'm absolutely stunned. After being told I had a one in ten million chance of getting pregnant, here I am. It's unbelievable. So when I ovulated 12 days ago (unbeknownst to me at the time) the hubs and I had sex on and around that day and poof. Knocked up. Wow. 

The Beta Test they did show I am pregnant and the Dr. himself called to tell me. He said he wants me to get retested Monday to see if my hormone level doubles (which is apparently what it's supposed to do every 48-72 hours). The hubs and I were jumping for joy! That was the moment we finally felt like this was real. I called Dr. Fu to tell her the news and she was elated and said it was a miracle. I told her I honestly feel like it was because of her treatment that it happened, and I wholeheartedly believe that. She asked me to give her the date of the day I ovulated (that she pointed out to me on my BBT chart) which was 12 days earlier. She explained that you count from the day of your last menstrual period as how far along you are. Since I haven't gotten a period since I got off BC last summer she added 2 weeks from when I ovulated, so I'm considered 4 weeks pregnant. Craziness. Dr. Fu said the fact that I'm only 4 weeks and the home preg tests were registering as pregnant even in the evenings means that the pregnancy is strong. !!!! Unreal.

So the hubs and I decided we're not gonna go make a public service announcement just yet, but we would tell a small handful of people who see closest to us. We told his parents via Skype (they live in another state) and my two cousins that are like sisters to me. As for my parents, my mom has been away for two weeks on her trip of a lifetime and is flying back on Monday. Her layover is in south FL and it just so happens that I'll be close to there Monday, as I have to stay over for an Assistant Principals meeting Tues. Well, my dad decided he was going to just drive down to pick her up rather than make her wait with a 4 hour layover to fly home. (Which is actually rather odd because my parents aren't together). But he figured then they could both see me together since it's been a while and then we can talk in person about whether or not we should for IVF. Ha! They have no idea what they are in for!! I'm planning on giving my mom a Mother's Day card that says "grandma" and put a picture in it of the digital preg test that shows "pregnant." They are gonna cry their eyes out! I've got to try and video it with my phone somehow since the hubs can't be there!

This whole thing is crazy. While I may have been determined as all get out, it medically wasn't supposed to happen. And now here I am, 4 weeks pregnant, the FIRST time I ovulated since getting off the pill 9 months ago (and who knows if it would have happened again), on Mother's Day weekend, the weekend we had to decide on trying IVF, and get this... My due date is the EXACT date I found out I had Premature Ovarian Failure and was told I couldn't have kids. The planets surely aligned to make this happen! I firmly believe it has everything to do with all the things I've been doing these past 4 months. The Chinese Herbs and Acupuncture being number one, in my opinion. That along with all the supplements, fertility massage, yoga, castor oil packs and wheat grass... All of it worked in conjunction to bring me from POST menopausal hormone levels, diminished ovarian reserve and completely nonfunctioning ovaries to having numbers in the normal range, ovulating and getting pregnant in the matter of 4 months.

And while we may be holding off from spilling to everyone, I just couldn't keep it from you guys. Not because I wanted to share the news, but to instill hope in each and every one of you. To show you that Western Medicine doesn't know everything. That if you've been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and given the Donor Egg speech, there is still hope. So never, EVER, give up!!!

Fingers crossed the pregnancy sticks! 

I'll keep you posted!...

In the meantime, if you are new to my blog and want to know everything I've done in the past 4 months to turn my diagnosis around, if you go back and read through my posts I have written in detail about each alternative supplement and treatment! 

May 10- What the....?!?

So last night I picked up some preg tests. Not because I thought I was pregnant, but more because of something my good friend from work said. My boobs have been killing me all week and I've been breaking out like crazy on my face and back. I just chalked it up to PMS, as I've been expecting the mother of all periods, as I haven't gotten once since getting off BC last August. My friend made a comment that she got like that really bad both times she was pregnant with her girls. So between that and Dr. Fu pointing out when I ovulated- which was right when we had sex a few days in a row- I figured what the hell...I knew it wouldn't read positive but didn't hurt to check.

I took the preg test stick out of the wrapper and set it on the bathroom counter. I usually have to pee in the early morning hours so I wanted to make sure I definitely used the first urine of the day. Sure enough my bladder woke me up around 5am, so I grabbed the stick and headed to the royal throne. I peed a lot (TMI) and with the light of my phone I checked the test window. Nothing. Not even in the control part. Just when I thought I somehow got a defective test, I realized my half asleep ass forgot to take the cap off. Nice. So I peed on the cap! Sigh... So I had to wait until next round....

The alarm and all it's pleasantries woke me up an hour later. I had to pee again so I grabbed a stick and this time, took the cap off! Waited a few minutes and checked (ok I was staring at it that whole time). Solid control line, light second line. Wait, what does that mean? Grabbed box to check. One line = Negative. Two lines = Positive. But this was a faint line. I walked to the kitchen to confer with the hubs.he looked at it just as quizzically as I did. No clue. I soon had to leave for work and took the other test with me. 

When I got to work I immediately told my good friend what was going on. She fired back with, "and you better have brought the other one." I did. So I chugged my water, worrying that would dilute things too much and cause an inaccurate test result. Did the test again and damn it, same thing. Light second line. My friend demanded to see it and she said two lines is two lines, but I should go get a digital to be sure. I ran out and picked up a box of five. Heh...

By now I thought for sure there was no way this one was going to actually say "pregnant." The little hourglass timer thingy blipped on the screen for what seemed like an eternity. And then there it was. PREGNANT. 

No. Flipping. Way.

My friend screamed and jumped up and down but I just still couldn't believe it. I emailed Dr. T. (Which was a reply to a string of emails back and forth regarding us making the incredibly difficult decision to jump into IVF within the next few days) and told him I had a few positive preg tests and asked what to do. He emailed right away to come in for blood test and a minute later the nurse called asking me the same. Unfortunately they close early Fridays and there was no way I'd make in time but they said I could come in at 9 the next day. Ahhhh waiting....

Even though the two more digital tests I took were both positive, the Hubs and I feel equally skeptical. I mean, we've had four Dr.'s in the past 4 months give the Donor Egg speech, two of which were just last week! We both feel like there was some strange explanation for all this and we are afraid to get our hopes up just to get let down. At this point, all we can do was wait...

Switching Over- A Brief Intro

     I first began blogging when I was given the devastating news that I had Premature Ovarian Failure and would therefore not be able to have children. My ovaries had stopped working, my hormone levels were considered POST-menopausal and I had not had a period since I stopped birth control a half a year earlier. I had always dreamed of being a memoir writer, and the plan was to have the first one be about my pregnancy, whenever the time came. Being told by four different doctors that IVF wasn't even an option for me, my aspirations of writing such a memoir went down the drain. The odds I was given that I could become pregnant were "one in ten million," and so became the title of my very first blog. It documented the trials and tribulations I went through during this time of infertility, providing an outlet for me to vent my emotions of all I was going through. During this time, I was researching every alternative treatment available in hopes of reversing my diagnosis. The only thing that gave me hope was reading success stories of other women who had been given the same prognosis but later became pregnant after taking supplements and going the Eastern Medicine route. I was on a mission to beat the odds and prove the doctors wrong. I started taking all the natural supplements I'd read about that were supposed to help restore balance to the reproductive system. I found a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor who gave me herbs to take three times per day and did acupuncture on me weekly. Between the countless pills, alternative fertility therapies and Eastern Medicine, after three months I not only ovulated, I simultaneously released TWO eggs! The hubs and I (I will refer to him as G throughout my blog) just happened to have sex a few times on the exact days I was ovulating and wouldn't ya know... I became pregnant WITH TWINS before I could even get my period back. How's that for impeccable timing? It sure baffled the doctors! And it just goes to show you, they don't know everything!

     It was then my blog became something so much more than I could ever dream of. First, I was able to excitedly announce that I did the very thing my blog was entitled. I became that "one in ten million." But even more amazing than that, my story became a beacon of hope for others with my diagnosis. Since then, I have had women in over 65 countries reading my blog and over 20,000 page views. Women continually write to me telling me I have inspired them to keep on fighting and instilled hope in them, when all hope was lost. They write to me to ask questions and sometimes just to vent their frustrations, but every single one of them always thank me for giving them hope. Words can't express how much that means to me. 

Since becoming pregnant I've kept up with my blog, always feeling a bit apprehensive in fear I would upset those who are struggling with infertility. To my surprise, they all wanted me to keep posting updates because it restores a new sense of hope in them each time to see that things were progressing positively. It has been a few months now and I feel it's time for me to continue my journey in a new blog. I will still keep my previous blog out there because it is helping so many others, and I will always respond to those who write me on it. 

     I am so very happy to be able to finally write the memoir I have always dreamed of, stemming from this blog. I am working on the actual book throughout my pregnancy. It will incorporate all the posts from both blogs and will have additional, never-before seen material included in the book.  My ultimate goal is to create a series of memoirs capturing my adventures of raising the twins. Of course, this should prove to be interesting considering I have absolutely NO experience with babies and I am about to have TWO! So sit back, relax, and enjoy what is bound to be on hell of a - entertaining to you but terrifying to me- bumpy ride of a lifetime...

If you are interested in the events that lead up to my pregnancy, you can read all about it in my previous blog:

http://one-in-ten-million.blogspot.com//